My departure

I sit on the softest part of my bed,
stipulating million excuses to explain your absence.
The clock strikes midnight,
shall i go to bed?

I remain reluctant,
unwilling to retreat to rest.
My impatience rises,
i'm going mad.

Your careful,
well planned tactics worked.
The record plays,
i listen to my story as it unveils.

My strong senses,
betrayed me once again.
I fight to undercover my mistake,
to avail i loose once again.

If torture is what you seek,
i'm suffering more than obvious,
oh, my shameless demasculation.
I rise my white flag.

My work of architecture now gone,
each stroke and mold delayed.
Incomplete canvass,
beyond abstract it lays.

My life has been destroyed,
no need to save.
Inconsolable i lay,
praying for pity and guidance.

I'm in need more than they think,
perhaps a shot  may do.
The earth shall swallow me,
and in its abyss to keep.

I can taste the fire,
so strong and soothing.
I'm burning deep within but i don't mind,
for an oasis i keep within.

I depart from earth as easy as 123,
independent and bold.
You may judge me but i don't mind.
For its my life a non devotion to minds.

Oh careful seeker,
stealer of dreams.
Have no pity on me,
i'm more stagnant and delirious as it seems.